Resolutions tend to not work year after year because of two reasons.
1. They utilize the old mentality of “no pain, no gain”. Most resolutions are structured on losing different things in our life from weight to foods and activities we love and enjoy to less stress, etc.
The mind is wired to seek pleasure and AVOID pain. So if we set resolutions in a way that focuses on removing something and depending on will power and sacrificing now in an effort gain later, we will continue being frustrated that we haven’t made true forward progress towards creating a life that feels amazing on the inside and outside.
If this feels like your current attack when it comes to your 2020 goals and you’re already feeling frustrated and defeated with the amount of life that has distracted you this year, head over here to learn more about my online goal-setting workshop that helps you approach your goals and life differently.
2. The second reason they tend to fizzle out is that they target behaviors without addressing the root cause - our thoughts. There’s a little sequence of events that happens in the brain and it goes like this:
Thoughts create feelings that drive us to take positive or negative actions.
Learning how to switch the dialogue that takes place between our two ears is where the real magic and true change happens because we are rewriting the foundation of our identity.
If the old story is perpetually berating you on a conscious or subconscious level, it doesn’t matter how much will power you have, you will always feel like you are self-sabotaging in some form.
Photo by Michael Kramer
Here are 20 reframes to help you end the war within and start flipping the script in your mind so you can start creating positive behaviors that are in alignment with the life you want to create:
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I feel like I’m failing.
I’m not failing, I’m just beginning and building my momentum.
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I’m so mad and angry at my body for ___________(how it might look or feel).
If this were my body making a request for me to stop something or add more of something, what might that be? How can I honor and appreciate my body’s individuality?
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I can’t _______________.
I choose not to. I can do anything I focus on and commit to.
or
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I can’t ______________.
What can I do here then?
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I can’t ________________ until I feel 100% confident in how I’ll do.
Part of confidence is built in the preparation, but 80% of confidence comes from taking action before I feel completely ready. I got this. It won’t be perfect and that’s okay. I’ll learn a lot and do it better next time.
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I don’t have time for __________________.
I have enough time for the things that matter most to me.
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I’m always exhausted.
I need to take a minute to turn inward and revive my energy.
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I never get it right.
I just learned one way to do it better next time.
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I’m not someone who does _______________.
According to whom? Is that the truth or could I if I wanted to?
or
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I’m not a person who works out.
Great, what kind of movement brings me the most joy that I can incorporate on a regular basis? (hiking, gardening, dancing, walking to work, etc.)
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My ____________ (boss, partner, friend, etc.) is so _________________.
I wonder what they might be going through and could use right now?
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I suck at everything.
Really? Everything??? What’s one thing you know you do uniquely well? This could be being kind to strangers, packing your re-usable grocery bag like a boss, how much you know about your favorite hobby, etc.
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I never have enough money.
What is enough? Once I have a goal for how much I desire and why, I can figure out the next steps to create it.
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I haven’t reached my goals fast enough.
I’m moving at the exact right pace for me. It is not a competition.
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Have I made my goals big enough that it would still be worth it if I didn’t achieve it until 20 years from now?
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You need to be perfect.
Who benefits from me pretending to have it all together when I don’t? What support do I need right now? If no one can give me the support I desire, how can I give it to myself?
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What if _______________________(insert potential bad scenario)?
What if _____________________ (insert opposite potential good scenario) happened instead?
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I should be doing ______________________.
According to whom? What do I actually want to be doing that increases love, joy, and physical vibrancy in my life?
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I feel so anxious and scared, certainly this is a sign this isn’t for me.
Anxiety and excitement elicit the same feelings in the body, what if I’m actually really excited and this is the sign I care A LOT about doing a great job?
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I never feel motivated to ______________. I’m never going to amount to anything.
Motivation is something that is consciously created. Why do I want to do _____________ in the first place? What do I imagine it will feel like once I accomplish/do ______________? When I connect to my why and the positive feelings attached to it I increase my motivation to take one step forward.
Photo by Michael Kramer
Have inner dialogue you’d love to reframe that wasn’t mentioned above? Share in the comments below or find me at @revived_living on instagram and I’ll help you find a positive switch!
Always rooting for you,
Samantha
P.S: Next week I’m launching The #MyRevivedLife Pledge which is my mission to create climate change through individual habit change. The Pledge is centered around 8 foundational areas to master before getting fancy with your wellness routine. If you’d like to be a part of a community that shares support and tips to live revived all year long while also making a positive impact on the environment around you, head over here so you’re the first to learn about it!
20 Reframes to Redirect Negative Self-Talk in 2020 published first on Source
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